The Power of Optimism

Why are some people happier than others?

How they manage to smile even if the things are wrong?

How they always come out as a winner?

There is a simple answer to all these questions ... These people are supreme optimist. Optimism is the tendency to believe that everything will turn out well. Optimistic people always believe that they are responsible for their happiness and the future will only turn out to be happier. They never blame themselves when bad things happen; rather even in tough situations an optimist sees the silver lining.

"There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless about them." – Clare Boothe Luce

Many people believe that Optimistic thinking is unrealistic, but research has proved that we can indeed live happier, healthier and more successful lives if we can learn to discover opportunities in problems. Optimistic  positive thinking helps us to become more assured about ourselves. It makes us believe that we can turn every difficult situation into merely challenging opportunity. It helps us in our personal growth and can also stimulate our creativity to find better ways to live. Optimism helps us to have a way out even in a tough situation and it propels us to do our best even when the things are not so rosy.

Personally, I hate pessimists. They always have a tendency to cry. They are special kind of brainless species who can be cynical about anything. You can’t win a battle by being negative. I firmly believe, to lead a glorious, magnificent, cheerful and successful life a person need to be an Optimist.

“It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right” :):) 

Vishwas Vats 

Happiness “The Highest Good”

“Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you” ... Nathaniel Hawthorne

Happiness is a special thing which everyone wants to achieve. Unfortunately most of the people never reach the level of happiness they always desire. To be truly happy is a question of how we start and not about how we end, of what we want and not about what we have. Happiness always comes through positive thinking and attitude. A person with negative thinking can never be happy. According to me there are four things, we must do to achieve happiness.

1. Don’t judge anyone: It is always easier to see other’s weakness than their strength. Judging people always give us a bad feeling and there is nothing good about this. Just, Love the people around you, try to make them happy and create a surrounding full of joy and fun. When we start judging, we stop loving and without love, there is no happiness.

2. Accept yourself: No one is born perfect. We all have some personality traits we hate. We must accept the fact that we can’t become perfect. Start believing that you are unique and special and that’s something you should be grateful for.

3. Spend time with the people, you love the most:  As I have already mentioned without love, there is no happiness. Relationships give us happiness more than any material in the world. Love is well above all the material lust. So, spend quality time with your loved ones.

4. Express your feelings: Feelings in any form must be expressed. If you suppress your feelings, you are never going to be happy. We all love our mothers, but how many of us say this on a daily basis. Expressing your love not only makes you happy but it also gives immense pleasure to others.

“Consider the following. We humans are social animals. We come into this world as a result of other’s action. We survive here on dependence on others. Whether, we like it or not we always benefit from other’s action. For this it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.”... Dalai Lama 

Happiness is our ultimate reason for living. Happiness is really all there is and all there ever will be; all else is only a means to happiness. Aristotle has rightly described it as “The highest good."

Vishwas Vats 

Heaven, Hell and the Concept of Moksha

There is no word in western culture which can translate moksha or nirvana. According to their philosophy there are only two words, hell and heaven.  In Indian religions, there are three words, hell, heaven and moksha. Let me describe each word properly. Hell means misery; a state full of negativity; a state of darkness and utter loneliness. And heaven on the other end is joy, happiness and light. But “What is Moksha”?

Moksha is a term which has been made famous by great Gautama Buddha. According to him Moksha is freedom, freedom from everything, both hell and heaven. Pain may be ugly chain and pleasure may be a beautiful chain but it binds us, it prevents us from being free. Hell may be a dirty place, full of discomfort and Heaven may be a beautiful place with all comforts but poverty and riches are two sides of the same coin. One has to be free from both.

Hindus always say if you are free from all desires, you will go to heaven after death. This philosophy is contradictory as going to heaven is also a desire. Christians and Muslims also have similar kind of philosophy. There is only one theory which is complete in this respect, the theory of Buddha. Buddha says the ultimate objective of Life is to drop all the desires (even the desire of being into heaven) because only when all desires disappears, we attain Nirvana i.e. a state of complete freedom.

Why Buddha is right?

Many of you will be thinking why am I supporting Buddhism? I don’t know much about other religions, but in Hinduism, we have a basic concept that all desires are wrong and if you live a life free from all desires, you will go to heaven. But in heaven, you have Kalpavriksha (wish fulfilling trees), you desire anything and immediately, instantly  it is fulfilled. Here they go on talking against desires and still they want to go to heaven for fulfilling all their wishes and desires, quite illogical, I think.

This is the reason why Moksha is the ultimate reality. Only when we have transcended both hell and heaven, we can attain Nirvana. Buddha had described it as complete cessation of ego and meeting and merging into the universal.  In reality nothing like Hell or Heaven actually exists. Both of them are state of mind.

According to me, if you are a good person with high moral conduct, you will attain Moksha...The ultimate freedom. People like Buddha, Mahavir and Socrates can turn hell into heaven because of their purity. It is the fear of people which lead them to believe in the concept of hell and heaven. Just forget about all the fear, and then you will start believing in the concept of Moksha.

Vishwas Vats 

Pari – O-Special – Neeti !

Parineeti Chopra is the new sensation of the Bollywood. She is energetic, cute and sexy. After receiving lot of acclaim for playing a brash Punjabi girl in Ladies Vs Ricky Bahl, Parineeti has become the talk of the tinsel town. The girl stole the thunder from Anushka Sharma in that film. Our film industry is full of beautiful women. Right from the ethereal Aishwarya to sensuous Priyanka, every girl of the B-town charms us with their magic. Then, what’s so special about this new girl. There are three reasons which made me call her special.

 1. The extra cuteness factor:  In the era of boldness, we always want to see a cute girl. Believe it or not men always get impressed by sweetness of a girl. Parineeti has a winning personality. Her rolling eyes and superb body language makes her look more delightful on screen.

2. Ravishing eyes: The physical beauty of any girl can be best judged by seeing her eyes, and Parineeti scores a complete ton in this aspect. She has lovely and expressive eyes, Better we can say “Aankhen Bolti hai Uski”. I have seen many beautiful girls who look charmless. No one will appreciate you purely for your NAYAN-NAKSHA; you must have the appeal to attract others. Parineeti has that magic; she can kill you with her expressive eyes and face. If anyone has any doubt, go and watch Jigad ka Tukda.

3. Voluptuous beauty:  A girl or woman who is not fat but is curvaceous and beautiful. Parineeti is a great example of voluptuous beauty. Indian men like these kinds of girls, we always prefer them over skinny babes. Some people call these girls fat, and not so proper, I call them Sexilicious. There are very few actresses in our film industry who can boast of such beauty.

Parineeti has all the quality to become the most admired leading lady of Bollywood. The promos of her new movie Ishaqzaade are out and it is receiving overwhelming applause from the audiences. There is a great chance that, this movie will turn  into a huge hit. Pareeniti has already proved that she has something very special. This girl is magical and stupendous and I hope she scores big with Ishaqzaade.

Wishing her luck and success....

Vishwas Vats

Emotional Infidelity

EXPERT OPINIONS:
Psychiatrists define Emotional Infidelity as “A state when a partner shares intimate closeness with another person, other from his/her partner, and is preoccupied with thoughts of that person and even craves for spending more and more time with that person. It is any situation which causes some kind of emotional unavailability, along with damaging the quality of one’s existing relationship. The more perfect explanation of EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY is “It is an expression of either an essence or desire to be away from one’s existing relationship, without actually leaving that relationship”.

Emotional Infidelity is much more complicated from Sexual Infidelity. Sexual infidelity is pretty clear cut; someone steps outside the bounds of a relationship and engages in some form of sexual contact with another person. 

MY VIEWS:

Is Emotional Infidelity wrong? Seriously speaking, I don’t know because I find it hard to understand that “When can we term emotional attachment as Emotional Infidelity”? Is there any proper border line defined?

One can’t tag sharing your feelings with someone as betrayal! Krishna and Drapuadi shared great emotional attachment with each other, Can we call them as cheaters!!! No we can’t. Then, why there is so much fuss about EMOTIONAL CHEATING.  Great friendship between people of opposite sex is very much possible and essential for proper grooming of the individual. I firmly believe that we need a set of people (like-minded ones) apart from our spouse to live a perfect and balanced life. I am a great supporter and admirer of PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS, as I believe it’s almost impossible for a person to satisfy all his emotional and intellectual needs from his/her partner.

There is a very thin line which differentiates emotional attachment with emotional love. Before sharing your feeling with someone other than your partner, you have to ask yourself a simple question “Are you emotionally mature to make this relationship work”? In most of the cases people become too much dependent on their friends with whom they are sharing their insecurities and this emotional weakness lead to EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY.

EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY AND MARRIAGE:

Marriage is a great and respectable institution. People nowadays, just need one odd reason to destroy their relationship. It is utter nonsense to kill your marriage life on the basis of EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY. If you feel that your partner is emotionally preoccupied, then it’s better to talk. Make them believe that you love them and want them back both emotionally and physically. I have heard many people saying that I can forgive my partner for one night stand but can’t forgive him/her for cheating me emotionally. This is foolish statement as no one can blame anyone for cheating him/her emotionally. If you love someone, trust him; Try to hold him/her for as long as possible. Personally speaking, I think this issue is very complex and people must think twice before ending their relationship on the grounds of EMOTIONAL INFIDELITY.

Vishwas Vats

A tribute to Sachin!

Sachin Tendulkar is without any doubt and by a fair distance the best batsman of modern era. His impact on India and Indian public is way beyond any normal human imagination. Sachin Tendulkar started playing Cricket in 1989, a time when India as a country was down with low self esteem. People in India were in search of a HERO, who can motivate them and their country to develop progress and prosper. At that time no one has ever thought that a 16 year boy with curly hair and very faint voice will emerge as a face of modern India. Critics and Cricket columnists always talk about sheer brilliance and belligerence of Sachin on the cricket field but most of them fail to understand the impact of this small but outstanding individual on the country India. Tendulkar gave India a sense of security. People of India started believing that they can be best in the world. You can’t understand the value of Sachin if you are not an Indian. As an ardent admirer of the Master, I want to dedicate these lines to the only real iconic figure of our country. If anyone is thinking that I will write like an expert writer with pin-point precision then please stop reading; This is only for those who are dedicated fan of the Master.

1. Sachin, you are the best and I consider you as GOD.

2. I consider you better than Bradman; Bradman never carried the expectations of 1 billion people.

3. I am glad that I breathe the same air as you do.

4. Nothing in the world is as precious as a century from you.

5. I would love to emulate you and will consider myself lucky if I become 10% of the person you are.

Sometimes it’s very hard to control your emotions and my emotions are always heightened when I talk about the little genius.

“Sachin, KAI AAYNGE AUR KAI JAYENGE; SAB TUM JAISA BANNE KI KOSHISH KARENGE; PAR KOI TUM JAISA NAI BAN PAYEGA”.

A note to the people who hate Tendulkar:

If you hate Sachin because you don’t have the competency, skills and talent to be as like him then go and visit a psychiatrist; Definitely you are suffering from some kind of mental illness. I have an advice for the people who speak ill against the master; Don’t love him but at least respect the man who has served his country for 23 years; a man who has always made his country proud by his astonishing and great achievements; a man who is role model to many; And most importantly a man who has been a symbol of rising and modern India.

A note to the people who think Sachin should retire:

Personally speaking “I don’t judge people I love”; when you start judging people, you stop loving them. Sachin should retire only when he thinks it’s time to retire. Leave this matter to Sachin himself as no one understand and love Cricket more than this man.

P.S: This post is just an attempt to show my love and respect to the man I admire most.


Vishwas Vats

Love of my Life!

She is beautiful; she is astonishing; she is the example of a perfect woman; she is my mother, the love of my life.

Love itself is a very pure word and no love in this world can be more pure, magical and amazing as love between a child and his mother. Every mother has undying love for her children. As like every son, I am very close to my mother; the only woman in the world with whom I feel comfortable; the only woman who can love me for whatever I am. I am more or less a MUMMA’s boy and have always tried to impress my mother. I can tell you it feels great when you know that you are the reason behind your mother’s smile. A smile on her face has so much positivity that it drives me to do something actually worthy.

Mothers play the most important role in her child’s development. There is a famous saying in MAHABHARATA:

“JAISI MAA KI BHAVNA WAISI HI SANTAAN”

The care and love with which a mother raises her child can’t be explained. It is the only love in the world which is purely unconditional. Right from our childhood the biggest source of our inspiration is our mother. Nothing satisfies a mother more than her child’s accomplishment and success; if tears are greatest representation of emotions then everyone can realise that “HOW MUCH OUR MOTHER LOVES US”. Mothers are meant to be cheerleaders of their kids sometimes in loud and visible way and sometimes in subtle or unspoken way. Describing a Mother is virtually impossible; it’s a feeling which can only be understood by those who experience it.

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity; it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."

I would like to dedicate these lines to every mother:

You are the reason behind my existence; I am blessed to be born as your son

Nothing in this world gives me more pleasure and satisfaction than your smile

I can’t even think of losing you; my biggest fear is how I will survive without you

I know you will be there for me even if the whole world turns against me
The only desire of my life is to make you feel proud

Even in terms of psychology a boy’s first love is his mother (Now talking with a son’s point of view).Boys learn their first and earlier lesson of love from their mothers. Far from making a boy weaker the love of a mother can and actually makes a boy stronger emotionally and psychologically. Nothing in the world matters more for a son than his mother. I would love to dedicate following lines to every mother (It’s the best song I have ever heard):

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin

Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main Maa

Yun To Main, Dikhlata Nahin

Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Meri Maa

P.S: This post is dedicated to all mothers in this world.


Vishwas Vats

Importance of a Balanced Life!

Balanced life means taking good care of every aspects of life like career, relationship, personal growth and spiritual development. Living a Balanced life is buzzword these days as many people find it extremely difficult to make a balance between personal life and professional life. Life is always about priorities and we must set our priorities in a well defined order; Life becomes imbalanced only when there is clash in priorities.

There is no fun in earning billions when you don’t have the time to watch your kids grow older, there is no greatness in getting a Nobel Prize when you don’t care about growing wrinkles in your wife’s face.
Many people in quest of finding success (by success I mean professional growth) forget about the need and essence of their own soul satisfaction.

People mostly perceive success and achievement in a wrong way; For most of us professional glory is everything; Most of us can put everything on stake for our professional growth.

Some people feel it’s almost impossible for anyone to maintain balance between every aspect of our life and that is a bitter reality. Then How can we live a proper or balanced life; I have some suggestions and will explain each of them

1. Find correct order of your priority: 
Money is essential for living but it is not more important than our family and friends. My order of priority is: SELF>FAMILY >SPIRITUAL >HEALTH>SOCIETY >MONEY .Many will disagree with me on this order but trust me if you want to live peacefully and with full satisfaction this is the order to be followed.

2. Emotion Management: 
This is the biggest problem of our generation. I call my generation a generation with fake emotions; People use their emotions to succeed, many call it emotion management, I call it “An attempt of SCREWING yourself”. By saying all this I am not saying that it is nice to act like a fool; I only want to convey that for god sake if you love something spill out; if you want to fight go and fight; Don’t pretend to be balanced and perfect .Please understand this fact that SHOWING EMOTIONS AT RIGHT TIME IS NECESSARY FOR LIVING A BALANCED LIFE. Everyone must know that emotion management teaches us to show our proper emotion at proper time and it does not teach us to step back and become emotionless.

3. Have a DIVINE connection: 
ATHEIST will not like this but if we want to grow and succeed we have to surrender ourselves in front of ALMIGHTY. Why believing in GOD is necessary? This is the ultimate question; Many denies existence of GOD; But I don’t, I always believe divine intervention is necessary for all great thing ; Believe in this fact that there is someone more powerful than us who controls everything and is responsible for all good and evil in our life .

I personally  believe in living a life which gives me peace and satisfaction; a life in which there is ample space for all my loved ones; a life in which I can do things which I actually want to do rather than doing something only to please SOCIETY .

P.S: This one is the first post for my blog and I know I am still very immature writer but am quite hopeful that you will love this post.


Vishwas Vats